Welcome to the World, Nolan Douglass Heppding!!

It's amazing how life can change in a moments time. Writing this, exactly 2 weeks after Nolan's birth, I still can't believe that I'm a mom and that my son is HERE to stay-for as long as God will have him here on earth. Thank you Lord, for this precious miracle and gift from you.

I went to the hospital on Tuesday, October 5th to be induced. I started off with an IV of saline. The first hour was rather humorous as I went to the bathroom SEVEN times in 1 hour. I asked the nurse to show us how to unplug from the monitors so we wouldn't have to buzz her every 10 minutes. About 2 hours in, I received cytotek, which was supposed to help me dial ate. Only problem was, once I was given the cytotek I could not get up for a hour-so I used a bedpan in bed, for an hour-I drank too much water before going to the hospital, because they told me to come hydrated.

The night progressed with more movement, changing positions, sitting on an exercise ball, etc. As the night went on, my contractions got stronger and stronger but I wasn't dialating. By 4:00 a.m. I decided to get the epidural and I tried to sleep. By the time the sun came up my contractions were strong enough to give birth, but I never dialated past 3 1/2 centimeters. My doctor came and checked on my twice and when she came in the second time, I looked at her and said, "Oh no, Dr. Graham. My son isn't winning this battle. I will give birth vaginally." Well, those of you who know how I feel about my doctor won't be surprised at what she did next. See, I have complete trust in my doctor. When she is around, I know everything will be fine. What she did next is the only thing I clearly remember from the entire labor process.

When she came in to deliver the news about having a c-section, she knew I was going to be upset. Back in February, when she became my new doctor by default, I was very hesitant to switching to her, as she knew very little about my past history with infertility. After my first pre-natal appointment with Dr. Graham, I came to have complete faith and trust in her. So, I wrote her a quick letter tell her so. Since I had written that letter back in February, she has had it hanging on her refrigerator. She leaned down on my bed, grabbed my hands and head and told me this was the best thing for the baby and me. She then took out her phone and said, "I'm going to show you a picture, and I want you to pay attention to what it is. I was going to show you after you had Nolan, but I am going to show you now." I looked at it and it was a picture of the letter I had written her, hanging on her refrigerator. She told me, "I have had that letter there since you gave it to me. It is a constant reminder why I do what I do." Of course I started sobbing even more, but it was exactly what I needed from her at that moment. She held me and embraced me until I knew it was going to be ok. I cried some more and then asked her to get everyone out of the room.

Phil, Jenny, and I prayed together and then a total sense of peace came upon us. I was ready. I had gotten over my hopes of a natural birth, and was ready to meet Nolan via c-section. I was wheeled off into the operating room and was attacked by what seemed like a flock of birds. There were 10 people doing 10 different things on me at once. One even commented that it may have seemed like chaos, but that they were all working together to get him out quickly. They prepped me, and then sent Phil in. From the time Phil stepped into the O.R. to the time Nolan was out was an amazing 4 minutes. To distract me and in my state of delirium, I started talking about college football with the doctors. I also started talking about everything I wanted to eat and drink-from mango margaritas to cheeseburgers. They were all laughing. Then, the most amazing thing happened. Nolan came out of me, full of life and ready to go. I DID give birth, maybe not how I imagined, but this is how I met my son, and for that I am thankful.

Nolan was born at 12:42 p.m. on October 6th. He weighed 8lb. 14 oz. (a big boy!), and was 21 3/4 inches long. How he fit in my tummy is beyond me. One of God's miracles. I immediately went into recovery for over an hour, breast fed immediately (with help of the most wonderful lactation consultant, Regina), and then went to my post-partum room-which I never left for over 48 hours. Those 48 hours are a bit of a blur. All I knew was that our son was here, safe and sound, and that everything was going to be ok. Mine and Phil's prayers had been answered. Ging and Pop (my mom and dad) came down for Nolan's birth, along with my wonderful friend, Jenny (who has taken all the wonderful pictures of Nolan's birth). It was great to have them here to share in this joy. We had lots of visitors come by, the nurses were phenomenal, the hospital food was excellent (yes, really it was), and the post-partum room, minus the hospital bed, felt like a hotel room.



Then reality hit. Phil and I were sent home. No more nurses button. No more help on demand. No more meals being delivered to us. No more middle of the night nurses watching Nolan while Phil and I slept for a couple of hours. Taking Nolan home was a very surreal experience. I remember walking in the door on Friday, October 8th, at about 1:00 p.m., and asking myself "now what?" Phil and I showed Nolan around the house, showed him his bassinet, and then fell asleep with him on the couch.

I said we had not more on demand help. But my mom has graciously been here for 3 weeks helping out with Nolan. And I said no more meals being delivered to us. Well, our friends from Sunday School have lavished us with homemade meals. I haven't cooked since we've been home, and we still have meals coming. And not having anyone watch Nolan? Well, for the first week we were home, Ging stayed up with Nolan from 9 p.m.-12:00 a.m. so that Phil and I could have 3 hours alone together. To say that Phil, Nolan, and I have been spoiled with love is an understatement. I have a new appreciation for my mom and this has been an amazing bonding experience for my mom and me. I'm going to be sad when she leaves. She has been a huge help and I have a new understanding and appreciation our relationship.

The first week Nolan was home I was scared-scared to hold him, scared I would do something to "hurt" him, scared he wouldn't be breathing in his bassinet, scared he wouldn't ever sleep in his bassinet, scared I was never going to get sleep again, scared breastfeeding wouldn't work, and scared I was going to meet his needs. Wow, what a difference 1 1/2 weeks can make. Nolan is feeding great, sleeping very well through the night (knock on wood this continues), Phil and I are getting uninterrupted sleep, and Phil, the baby whisperer, has gotten Nolan to love his bassinet. What a great learning experience this first couple of weeks has been. I'm so thankful to be able to take a couple of months off of work and just enjoy my son.









I love feeding him and holding him when I am done. I love watching him soothe himself in his swing or bouncer. I love when others hold him. I love how ALERT he is and how he will just stare at me. I love when he hears my voice he will find my face. I love watching daddy hold him. I know I love him because his shitty diapers don't even bother me. I love being able to talk to him and explain what we are doing. I love reading him books, and I love when the three of us crawl into bed together.

Phil is amazing with Nolan. He is very intuitive to his needs and is not afraid of a newborn. Phil is great about changing diapers, swaddling, and watching him so I can get out of the house. He doesn't even call me with questions when he is home alone with him. It is easy to tell that Phil was meant to be a husband and daddy. He is great at both of them.

I've cried a lot over the past 2 weeks due to fear, frustration, joy, and total awe of Nolan. People keep reminding me to enjoy every moment because it goes by way too fast. I'm so thankful when people remind me of that. It reminds me to sit and just watch, hold, and enjoy Nolan. To just "be" with him.

I am amazed and beyond thankful for this gift God has given us. I am also so thankful for all of the help, support, and love we have gotten from friends and family. We certainly could not have done this without everyone's support.

I'm praying motherhood will soften me and make me more patient. I should be careful what I pray for, but I really think it will.

Now we're a family of 3. I can't believe it. Two friends shared this verse with me when we were battling infertility, and whenever I look at Nolan I think about this verse:

1 Samuel 1:27-28 - I prayed for this child, and the Lord has granted me what I asked of Him. So now I give him over to the Lord for his whole life.

Our prayer is that Nolan would know the unconditional love of his heavenly Father.

Childbirth Classes, First trip to L&D, Back to Work, and a Nursery, too!

August has kept us on our toes for sure. I went back to work at the beginning of August and the kids came back the 2nd week. I thought going back to work would be easy, but was I wrong. While I am very thankful that the majority of this pregnancy has been easy, I have now entered the painful part. Everything hurts! I feel like a rolly polly, the soft sweet kicks have turned to painful jabs, and good consistent sleep in non-existent! I must say that I am a very lucky pregnant lady, as Phil as gone above and beyond taking care of me!

The 2nd day of school started off rather interesting. I got up to get ready for work and I noticed a little bit of spotting at 33 weeks exactly. After I got to work, I called my doctor and they told me to go to L&D. I was reluctant to go, but with a strong push from the nurse a text to Phil letting him know I was on the way, I found myself making my first trip to L&D. I wasn't too nervous, because I thought the spotting was a result of being on my feet so much. Phil and I confusingly tried to get me into the hospital gown and before long I was hooked up to the monitor. The nurses monitored Nolan's HB and everything checked out fine. The best part was when Phil "talked" to Nolan through my stomach. The baby would immediately respond by kicking and his HR would spike. Before I was released and sent back to work, the nurse came in one last time and told me I was the "winner" of a cervical check. My first one, and I naively said, "ok." Um, OW! And the nurse expected me to "relax" through it. And to think, I have lots more of these to look forward to. Their assessment of the light spotting was exactly what I figured it was-too much standing. I was told to sit down more...at work, where I teach all day long. Well, I went back to work, but I will admit, I have been using my rolling chair a lot more!

At this point, the goal is to work until the end of September. I'm working about 52 hours a week between teaching and tutoring and will tutor through maternity leave. I think I will go back to work the 2nd week of December. Phil has been at his new job, M. Lynch for over a month and has his upcoming Series 7 (or 67-I can never remember) test that he has been studying over a month for. It is the first of 3 major tests, but he will soon be able to start meeting with clients. He is loving his new job, and I am so proud of him. I think this job really fits him to a T. He will make a great Financial Advisor and has an incredible team to work with who will train and guide him.



I had my second baby shower hosted by Karol and Jamie on August 14th. Several friends from school came, along with a couple of friends from church. Jamie and Karol outdid themselves with the delicious food (the chicken salad, WinnDixie cake, and fruit were so yummy), and Karol had the canvas artwork finished and at the party. Little Nolan got some wonderful gifts and enough GC's to get his car seat. The best part was spending time with friends who are excited about this little boy's arrival.

We finished our last childbirth class last Thursday. I am glad Phil and I took the class, but I am thankful it is over. By the time Thursday night rolled around, we were both exhausted and too tired to go, but we went anyway. We did walk away with a lot of knowledge, less anxiety about the birthing process, and much more in charge of our birthing experience. We've already used a lot of the exercises we learned at home with the mild contractions I have recently been experiencing. Unlike before the class began, I actually believe that I will be giving birth at the end of this 9 months.



Phil has been super dad getting everything ready around the house. He is almost done making the bench seating-it is drying out in the garage right now after its second coat of paint. Nolan's swing, bouncer, bassinet, bookcase, and nursery have been assembled and waiting to be used. The room is finally done and we can't be happier. Now, I just need to get that hospital bag packed for the 2 of us.

AND.....The nursery is finally done!!



AND.....We couldn't be happier with the way it turned out.



AND.....While we love the way everything turned out, we are most excited about the canvas artwork our friend, Karol, did that matches the bedding.



I'm finally 35 weeks pregnant. Down to the final (LONG) stretch. We are excited to be in the 9th month of this journey and hope to spending the remaining weeks relaxing, watching college football, enjoying each other before we become a family of 3, praying for a safe delivery, and anticipating all of the joy and excitement that is to come and putting in the back of our minds all of the sleepless night, crying, and chaos of raising a newborn. So thankful for the opportunity to be parents and that God has given us Nolan to take care of on Earth.

Showered with Love!

While Phil and I were off getting our pictures done, Lorraine, Holly, Jenn, Cheryl and my mom were busy getting ready for my baby shower. They really outdid themselves with beautiful decorations and yummy food. I would have to say that the fruit kabobs were my favorite.

It was so special to have some my closest friends and family there who had been praying for Phil and me over the years that we would be able to have children. I loved that I saw friends from 8 years ago when I taught at Chattahochee, along with friends from church that I have built strong friendships with over the years. It was also meaningful to see my moms friends come and support her daughter, too. Women who have been like a 2nd mom to me while growing up.

We are very thankful for the abundant amount of gifts we received for baby Nolan, but visiting with friends and celebrating the upcoming birth of Nolan was truly the best part of the day. I can't say thank you enough to my friends and my mom who made this day so wonderful. Here are just a few on the pictures that highlight how amazing this day was.





What a wonderful day. Thanks again mom, Holly, Lorraine, Jenn, and Cheryl. Your friendships are invaluable to me and I can't wait for each one of you to meet our newest addition in October.

Maternity Photos!

Phil and I made a trip to Atlanta for what turned out to be one of the most special days of our life, to date. Saturday morning started off with some of our closest friends, Jenny and David, doing a maternity photo shoot for Phil and me. Well, Jenny was doing the photography and David was being an excellent assistant rummaging through a bag of blocks to spell baby and Nolan. He did a great job of carrying all the props, too. See, Jenny would never admit it, as she is too humble, but she is quite the photographer. She is often the first of her friends to show up at her friends births, camera in hand and all. I need to quit doting on her, as I know this will embarass her, but I will let the following pictures speak for themselves. And these are just a few of the 148 she took, yes, 148. Since this is my blog and I can say whatever I want to (because she has already revealed the news in real life), she is pregnant, too. Right now, she is about 10-11 weeks along-and I'm hoping baby Nolan and baby Fancher become best buddies in the years to come-despite the 6 hour drive between us, but that hasn't interferred with our friendship with the Fancher's yet, so I don't think it will in the future. While we were having fun taking pictures, my mom, Holly, Lorraine, Jenn,, and Cheryl were back at my mom's house getting ready for my baby shower. To say I felt loved and special on this day is qutie an understatement.

Summer "Vacation" - If you can call it that!

There has been no slowing down this summer. Between the oil spill, tutoring, preparing for the arrival of our son, and traveling to see family, I feel like my feet are going to fall off-literally. If there is one thing that hurts and bothers me most about being pregnant thus far, without a doubt, it is the pain in my feet with each and EVERY step I take, and even when I'm on the couch-they STILL hurt.



The summer started off with my friend, Alyssa, coming all the way from Seattle to visit for a week. We've only seen each other 3 times since living together in Prague in 2002. Because the weather was seasonably hot, we spent most of the week inside-watching Wimbledon, playing Skipbo, watching the World Cup, cooking yummy dinners, and reminiscing about the past. She handmade an adorable quilt/blanket for Nolan and brought me some yummy tea. We didn't "do" much-we just enjoyed hanging out together. The most exciting thing was that Alyssa was the FIRST person to SEE the baby kick. Feeling it is on thing, but seeing the stomach move as a result of Nolan kicking was amazing. Unfortunately, Phil was a work, but I was glad that she was there to experience that "first" with me.



This picture is at 26 weeks pregnant-we were down at the beach seeing if we could spot any tar balls, which unfortunately, we did-but not too many. At this point in the pregnancy, it is so exciting to be able to feel Nolan kick every single day. Hardly an hour goes by without a reminder that he is in there. I'm in love with his kicks. As the 2nd trimester is shortly coming to an end, I have started to feel better, but I know it is only going to get rougher. Right now, I just want to cut off my feet. Every step I take is full of pain-totally worth it and would do it over and over again.

Towards the end of June I had my glucose test, in which I had to drink about 8 ounces of a concentrated sugary drink (imagine jolly ranchers in liquid form) to test for gestational diabetes. After an hour, my blood is taken to make sure that my sugar levels have gone back down. If I were to fail, I would be sent to the hospital for a 3 hour test. I'm still waiting on my results, but my doctor told me that no news was good news. They would only contact me if there was a problem or else they would tell me the results at my next appointment-which is next week.

Before heading out of town to see family in Georgia, Virginia, and North Carolina, I crammed in over 20 hours of tutoring in just 4 days. By the time we got in the car to head out of town on Thursday afternoon, I was ready to sleep. Thank goodness for our new car, in which I am able to sprawl out in the back seat to sleep. We spent 4th of July weekend in Atlanta visiting friends and family. One of the highlights of the weekend was going to the Avondale Estates annual 4th of July parade. Phil also loves to buy Tynan's homemade lemon icees. We ended up napping and resting a lot at my parents house since it was just too hot to be outside.



From Georgia, we left to go to Virginia to spend a few days with Fred, Heather, Will and Jackson. It was especially exciting since Heather and I have due dates only a month a part. Everyone in our family is so excited that she is having the first girl on the Heppding side. We can't wait to meet Ava when she is just a few months old at Christmas time. We spent a few days just hanging out-cooking, talking about parenting, rummaging through boxes of baby clothing-that Heather has so kindly given to Nolan, and playing with the kids. I think we would both agree that the best part was spending several hours shopping, eating at Panera, and getting pedicures-definitely the best part! It was sad to leave, but comforting to know we'll see each other again soon. From Virginia, we went to North Carolina to visit Fred and Gayle. We spent a couple of days with them just hanging out and enjoying the junk food in Gayle's pantry :)

After 10 days on the road, we arrived back home on Sunday July, 11th. I've never been happier to arrive get back home. We quickly unpacked, mowed the lawn, and ran back out to get Nolan's mattress for his crib and some organizing shelves.

So what's on tap for the rest of the summer? A few more doctor's appointments, a trip back to Atlanta for a baby shower, and more tutoring. But the best part will be finishing up the nursery-a lofty goal we have before going back to school in a few short weeks. We can only wish and hope that it will be done by August. Be on the lookout for nursery pictures. Once August hits, we start childbirth classes and I go back to school so I must save every ounce of energy I have for the 8 hours of teaching each day.

There are not many more things that I am more thankful for than for the opportunity to be pregnant. Wow, to think I have a human growing inside me. What an honor and privilege.

Viability Day

Last week was a week full of wonderful surprises and answered prayers. Sunday started off with the AC breaking in the middle of the night (that wasn't the wonderful part or an answer to prayer). I was jabbing Phil at 3:30 in the morning telling him that the AC display went blank. Yes, in the middle of the night, we were tinkering with the AC unit and going through the files to find our warranty information. I wasn't out of bed Monday morning before I called our warranty company-in which they told me it would be 8 days before someone could come look at our AC. I explained to the representative that we lived in Florida, that it was 95 degrees, and that I am 6 months pregnant. 8 days just wasn't acceptable. They put in a medical concession, had another representative call me back only to tell me that it would still be the same time frame. UGH. I was preparing for a long, HOT week. I was thinking about camping out in a department store just to be in the AC. And I also considered camping out in my office at school-I'm not kidding. BUT....God answered some major prayers:

1. A friend who I have gotten to know well through tutoring her daughter had a floor unit AC that she brought to our house on Monday evening. I was on the phone and mentioned that the AC went out and she was at our house within 2 hours. The unit has turned our bedroom into Antarctica and I LOVE it.

2. On Tuesday, I was tutoring another student and when his dad came to pick him up, I asked him how our 85 degree house felt. He is a previous builder and contractor, and without asking him, he had our AC repaired and running in 1 hour, adding on that he would be offended if I ever offered him a dime to repair it.

3. Thursday was our LAST day of school for the year, making it one glorious day. We celebrated by eating at Mitchell's Fish House with a GC somebody had given Phil. The pecan encrusted talapia, mashed potatoes, and green beans melted in my mouth.

4. Friday (June 11) marked 24 weeks in my pregnancy. To some this might just be another week, but to Phil and me, it was a HUGE milestone! 24 weeks is known as Viability Day-meaning that a newborn child has 50% chance of surviving outside the womb at 24 weeks and the percentage grows everyday. We pray regularly that this baby will make it full-term, but we have much more confidence that if something were to happen this baby would be just fine with all of the tools, resources, and technology the NICU has for premature babies.

My parents decided last minute to come down for the weekend. It turned out to be great because the baby furniture arrived earlier in the week and dad and I were able to go pick it up at JCPenny on Saturday morning. "Pop" was more than willing to put the crib and bookcase together and had it up in no time.

We started off the week with the AC crashing and we ended the week laying on the floor in Nolan's nursery-talking and daydreaming about his arrival. Phil tells me everyday that he "can't wait for Nolan to get here." I, on the other hand, am very excited, but am in NO rush at this point. Ask me in 2 months, and I'm sure the answer will be different. His kicks have gotten so much harder, I love knowing he is growing inside me and that I am taking care of his every need. I have identified when he gets hiccups and finding where he is kicking me is so much easier. The most special time is when Phil is talking to Nolan and telling me where and when he is kicking me (like I don't know, but it is still so cute). It was a week full of exciting surprises and milestones. Can next week be the same way?

Flutters, Kicks, and a Growing Tummy

I can't believe I've made it 18 weeks in the picture on the left and 21 weeks on the right! At 18 weeks, I was starting to believe this IS really happening. However, I was at the point where I had to come off my metformin and progesterone. I should have gone off it weeks ago, but mentally, I couldn't. I was so scared something would happen. But I finally let go of the medicine at the end of my 19th week and I went to just pre-natals. For the first time in 2 1/2 years I was no longer popping 5-15 pills a day. It is hard to believe I am like any other "normal" pregnancy and have the joy of taking 2 vitamins and my new best friend, Tylenol-and nothing else.

I keep hearing how I will love the 2nd trimester of pregnancy. That it will be the easiest because I'm not too big yet and I am past all the 1st trimester symptoms. Well, I'm not so sure I agree with whoever came up with this theory. I have not found it to be easy at all. The physical part has not been too bad, it has been the emotional. Physically, the worst part has been the headaches. And now at 21 weeks, my newest ache is my feet! Ugh, my feet are just killing me. It hurts to walk, it hurts to stand on my feet, and I wake up in the middle of the night with aching legs and feet. I had one cramp in my calf last week that sent me screaming at the top of my lungs. No matter what is bothering me most, Dr. Graham and my good friend, Jenny, who is a NICU nurse, always tell me to drink more water. I know...if I speak of something that is bothering me the first cure is "drink more water." Well, drinking more water is hard for me because I end up in the bathroom every 10-15 minutes...and I'm not exaggerating. I have almost decided I would rather have cramps in my legs and be constipated than have to run to the bathroom all the time.

The emotional side effects are throwing me for a big loop, and I'm sure Phil isn't loving it either. I feel sorry for him. I cry over everything and EVERYTHING has become a big deal. The fatigue, sensitivity, and river of tears I cry daily at my desk are overwhelming. I was warned this would happen. But I didn't think I would cry over Dancing with the Stars. And I didn't think I would cry when Phil starts talking to me about normal things. I would be very embarrassed to admit the things I cry about and I usually laugh at myself the next day. But in the moment of my puddle of tears, my world is literally coming to an end. I can only thank God that Phil puts up with it. Add to this the fact that I can't make a decision as easy as using a staple or a paper clip in the corner of my paper (yes, I really had to interrupt Phil while he was working in the yard to have him make the decision for me), or forgetting what I was saying mid-sentence, to wondering where I put my keys when they were in my hands to begin with. Pregnancy brain and hormones REALLY do exsist.

The 2nd weekend in May we had our garage sale. We sold an entire bedroom set complete with 12 pieces that was in our old "travel" room for 750.00. Throw in some end tables, a coffee table, kitchen table, a t.v., scrapbook supplies, and lots of knick knacks, we walked away with $1500.00! Enough to buy our bedroom furniture from JCPenny. It was a HOT Saturday morning and before the sun was up, we had people stopping by the house. We sold the bedroom furniture before 7:00 a.m., but thankfully, they had to go rent a trailer and eat breakfast, so we had it as an eye catcher most of the morning.

The 20th week of pregnancy has been the most exciting. I was sitting on the couch one evening during week 20 and I kept feeling little bubbles in my stomach. It felt like a can of Coke had been opened in my stomach. Neatest feeling ever. People describe those first flutters as taps, butterflies, or goldfish in your stomach, but it felt like a fizzling can of Coke. I think I was feeling them before 20 weeks, but I was sure at that moment of sitting on the couch, I was feeling little Nolan. I have quickly picked up on his schedule. How he stays keeps on a schedule is beyond me. He gets going about 2:00 in the afternoon. He flutters away here and there from late afternoon until bedtime. Sometimes I will lay on my side in bed and feel a few flutters before I go to sleep, but after dinnertime is his favorite time to let me know he is in there. I'm almost 22 weeks now, and the flutters have gotten a little stronger. I'm can't wait for the full on kicks. And I can't wait for Phil to feel him regularly. Everyday this gets more and more real.

Both Phil and I are so thankful to God for getting us this far in the pregnancy. We pray everyday that he will continue to grow into a healthy 9 month baby at delivery. I still can't believe I am going to be a mom in a few short months. I often feel like I am living somebody else's dream, but one day I am going to wake up and realize this is our life now. Thank you Lord, for the gift of children.

He's tapping on my stomach now and pushing on my bladder.

Guess it is time to go pee!